09.) I would rather watch, while helplessly tied up, as a pack of starving squirrels chew off my scrotum.
08.) I would rather have my asshole sown shut and witness my body slowly fill up with the poisons and diseases caused by not pooping, until I eventually die a horrible, bloated, and painful death.
07.) I would rather listen to Paris Hilton tell me her political views for ONE hour.
06.) I would rather watch an episode of 'American Idol' (oofa, that's the tough one)
05.) I would rather go back in time and pass out K.K.K. pamphlets at The Million Man March
04.) I would rather go to an ‘Off Track Betting’ parlor in Georgia dressed in drag
03.) I would rather stand outside of an 'Americas Next Top Model' audition, naked
02.) I would rather piss on an electric fence
AND the number one thing I would RATHER do than see ‘Transformers 3’? (Drum roll......)
01.) Blow Optimus Prime
|America at the movies|